Beth

I had several more GP appointments only to be told the same thing, that I needed physio and they were reluctant to give me painkillers due to breastfeeding. They did eventually give me dihydrocodeine and diazepam. I got so fed up of the pain and not knowing what was actually wrong, so we went to our local A&E who didn't x-ray or scan me and said I had sciatica.

The last straw was when I actually became suicidal with the pain. I was so depressed and down. My husband told me that he knew something serious was wrong because I usually deal with pain well, so he demanded that the MRI scan that had been booked as 'routine' be brought forward as an 'emergency' scan.

A few days before my scan the pain increased even more. The spasms I was having were so painful and intense that I wasn’t able to breathe and would wet myself.

The scan was awful. I couldn't lie flat and it took three people to help me on and off of the bed. When the preliminary results came, my GP rang me straight away. I had osteoporosis in my spine with eight spinal fractures. I had no idea what this meant but my GP prescribed me a Buprenorphine pain patch, plus more Diazepam and liquid Morphine too. He also prescribed me Calcium and Vitamin D supplements and a bisphosphonate called Alendronic Acid.

I was in shock when I did some research and learnt what had actually happened. The radiologist had said that my fractures were indicative of Pregnancy Associated Osteoporosis.

I did everything I could to make changes. I changed my diet to include more calcium and protein, I stopped taking certain medications that could affect my bones and I did lots of research. Unfortunately, I spent around three months bed bound due to the pain, spasms and fear of moving. This made my mental health decline and I cried every day. I struggled to sleep because of the pain and spasms and the fact that sleeping sitting up wasn't comfortable.

I didn't realise how the fractures could affect other things too. For example, I had pain in my chest and ribs and it hurt to take a deep breath. My back muscles still ache all the time too.

I've unfortunately missed many things including social events, my son's nursery leaving celebration and a holiday. I struggled to see any positives but once I felt strong enough to try and move, I started to improve quite quickly.

I was lucky to be referred by my GP to have reablement support carers who have been walking with me and exercising with me every other day. At first I began using a rollator with a seat and could only get to the end of my drive. Now I use the buggy and can walk for about 10-15 minutes, which is amazing.

I have physio sessions too which are helping and I'm just incredibly grateful for all of the support we’ve received. Unfortunately, my husband has been signed-off work due to the stress of having to care for us all alongside a job, which obviously has had huge financial impacts.

I remember my five-year-old son asking my husband if he could have the normal mummy back, the one who does things with him. He's also asked me numerous times when my back will be better and what happens if it doesn't get better.

When the results of my MRI scan came through, there were also historic fractures showing. So it's believed that I also broke my spine with my older son but it wasn't investigated or diagnosed.

I have lost 10cm in height, now being 4'10, my confidence has been hugely knocked and I also have a hunch in my back. It's been six months since I fractured my spine in eight places, and I'm able to do more but I'm still unable to lift my baby. I’m able to drive now and do a bit more around the house but I still have to rest a lot and very frequently. My back aches a great deal, especially towards the end of the day.

There needs to be more awareness of this horrible condition, as it seems many doctors don't take women with severe back pain seriously. It's been one of the hardest things I've had to deal with and the mental impact has been awful. I just want to get back to normal and be my normal self but I've still got a way to go.

I feel like I've been robbed of what should have been an amazing postpartum period, considering I didn't get to have a good one with my older son due to back pain and COVID. I've missed out on so many things. I've felt extremely isolated and mourning that I can't get this time back.

However, this has shown me how strong, resilient and determined I am. I've been doing everything in my power to recover and will keep going. My boys need me and actually, I need them too!